I have come to understand why so many parents leave their kids in the car in the sweltering heat and get turned in to child services for all manner of similar behavior. It's because the fucking shopping cart gestapo is out there and they are scary.
Today I was assaulted by one such member of the third Reich. To protect his true identity I will call him "rich-fat-ass-with-no-kids-too-much-time-on-his-hands-and-a-small-penis-which-is-clearly-the-reason-he-doesn't-understand-the-plight-of-a-mediocre-mama-because-he's-never-had-a-baby-or-quite-possibly-he's-a-eunuch." For short, I'll call him Euni. I digress.
I'm shopping at the local market with the Captain, loading my cart up with sushi and all manner of expensive goods because I finally got a job offer (more on that later). I'm feeling pretty good about myself, even bought environmentally conscious shopping bags to boot, but my bad back has been pretty horrible lately and I'm willing to take as many shortcuts as possible when it comes to carrying things. Anyways, my parking spot is in a land far far away and naturally I have to roll the tiny tot and groceries to the car. With no cart returns in the lot, I do the only thing possible and roll the cart between the spots, up towards the top so no one will have trouble getting in or out. I get in the car and quick as a whip, Euni starts shouting at me. At first I thought it was German, but no, it was my native tongue and he offered this scathing review:
Euni - You're too lazy to return your cart.
Me (stepping out of my car to see if he wants a piece of this) - Excuse me? I have a baby in the car.
Euni - You're irresponsible, blocking car spots, and too lazy to return your cart.
Now, I'm blinded with confusion because I thought the baby in the car was a pretty good rationale, not to mention that if he weren't yelling at me to return my cart someone else would have turned me in to child authorities for leaving my kid in the car by himself on a warm day, no less.
Me - Well, I'll tell you what, I'll pay you $.25 and you can babysit my kid WHILE I RETURN YOUR GODDAMN SHOPPING CART! No emphasis added, I assure you.
Many heads turn and now I AM being irresponsible because I for sure am driving angry.
Will someone please tell me what the point of striving to be a little less mediocre as a mama when Euni is going to shout me down for it? Did I do something incorrect? And if he was so civic minded and worried about the spot I was blocking, wouldn't he have just offered to return the cart for me?
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5 comments:
I would have ran him over with my car...or at least tried to =)
So - what's this about a job offer?
I love what you did and your response! I leave my cart in the lot all the time - provides a good job for the community teenagers! And I don't park next to the cart corral - great place to get a million door dings.
Tell Euni I say Hi. I'm waving my tallest finger at him.
I just don't understand why you weren't willing to leave your child alone in a hot car. I mean, how dare you inconvenience this poor man and his nice car. You are incredibly insensitive to the plight of the poor important people out there.
I think the Euni approved way is to put the groceries in your car, then take the kid and the cart back to the store, then carry the kid back to the car. It's like one of those word problems you had in 6th grade.
Option 2 is for the gentleman who sees your dilemma to help you by taking the cart to the store. Forget about it.
Oh, I know what his approved method was. But as stated, my back was in horrible shape and I was already paying for carrying him to the store from the end of the Barnes & Nobel aisle. I make no apologies for my actions. Neither does my chiropractor.
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