Enter stage right.

Recall months ago when I lost my shift key. Think back...it was May 2007. Lindsay Lohan was not yet in rehab (this time) and Britney Spears was in a downward spiral (oh, wait). For oh these many months I have become an expert left-handed shifter for the sake of clarity, grammar and so that I can make FUCKING EXCLAMATION POINTS1 for your amusement and for the sake of posterity. Honestly, these days I have trouble working on a normal computer with two shift keys. Yup, my computer has gone ghetto. But I do believe these days are over. It's time to grow up and use some of that soon-to-be-earned income for the sake of a new keypad. Why, do you ask? Well, think hard. Could there be something missing in my work with this current keypad? I'll give you a clue. When I was a little girl sitting in Mrs. Smiley's (I swear to you that was her name) 5th grade class we learned a very important lesson about division of thoughts and ideas into separate and distinct paragraphs. Not only does this provide the reader with some clarity it sets the tone of each individual thought and assists the reader by dividing out separate ideas into small blocks of content. Without paragraphs it would make the authors thoughts blurry and difficult for a reader to grasp each idea. If you don't remember about paragraphs and the important role they play in both fiction and non-fiction, feel free to check out this entry in the wikipedia. Now I love my little Captain, but he does have the ability to be trouble. I am also very pleased to announce that we found our Mary Poppins to watch him when I return to work. She's young, she's willing to pick him up from school and she's a mom herself. But Poppins brings her tiny tot, the Captain's new First Mate, along to watch the Captain during the day and I'm afraid to say that this is where the trouble starts. Now Mary Poppins is not sure who savaged my keyboard last night, but it's safe to say that it was either the Captain or his First Mate. I have my suspicions, but as both of them are under the age of 2 and difficult to bring in for questioning, it's just impossible to say. And for that matter, it doesn't really matter who did it, does it? All that matters is that I am once again searching for alternatives to give the reader some clarity and hopefully won't have to wait too long before I get my new keyboard. Otherwise, does anyone really give a shit what Mrs. Smiley taught me?