Star charting.

It took a bit of creativity and energy, but it seems that when things are at their worst, sometimes you just need to look at the problem from a different angle. That or you just need one of these:

The day after our dreaded Father's Day, things went from bad to worse. An out of control Captain head butted me in the pelvis and this Mediocre Mama was ready to throw in the towel.

And so I spent much of the next day contemplating a new system, perhaps a different approach to our behavior woes; thus was born the star chart. The star chart utilizes the simplest of joys, namely stickers and ice cream. Five stars in a row means a trip to 31 flavors, lose even one star in between and he has to start all over again.

Sounds simple, but naturally since the Captain's Mediocre Mama is a lawyer and the Deviant Dad is an engineer, it couldn't be as basic as good day/bad day. There is a complex system of laws in place so that we, the wayward parents, don't lose our way on the road to discipline. Here's the 411:

1. A timeout for hitting, failing to listen, 2nd degree toddler malfeasance - he loses a star

• Subsection A - if said timeout is given early in the day, said Captain can earn his star back for a stellar performance throughout the rest of the day;
• Subsection B - if said timeout is given late in the day after an otherwise stellar day, he loses his star;
• Subsection C - if the Captain is otherwise excellent around the house but gets a bad report from daycare, he loses a star; and finally
• Subsection D - if the Captain is horrible throughout the day, from start to finish, but ends his day by doing something remarkable, such as rescuing a dog from a burning building, being a whistle blower at a major corporation for false reporting of profits, successfully landing an airplane on water, finding the cure to cancer, or similar, he earns his star back.

I hit the local Michael's and loaded up on every manner of sticker, created a chart using Word and came home with an agenda. And then, on the most basic of levels, I explained the concept to a 3 year old. With every step of the process, his eyes widened and I was met with a gasp and a "Wow" from the young Captain. Because in truth, it was a win all around. As he excitedly explained to me afterward, "I like star stickers. And I like ice cream." I knew I had this kid right where I wanted him.

On day one of our star charting, he did great. He was in the thumbs up column from daycare and was all around well behaved. Day 2, not so much. And so it went for a week, every other day he got one, he lost one. It seemed like it was going nowhere. Until one day when I picked him up from daycare and instead of being in the "bad" column his name was under the "so so" column. His daycare teacher explained that his name started out under the bad column and he quickly snapped to exclaiming, "I don't want to lose my star." She had no idea what he was talking about, but all of a sudden he started helping her. And he was polite. And he started napping and not complaining. And so it has gone now, for 5 days in a row. And my Captain is finally getting his trip to the ice cream shop.

Have I won the war? Not really. Maybe just this battle. But if for the price of a scoop of ice cream I can help this child, it seems a small price to pay. Because the Save the Children foundation is really all about saving the child from the wrath of mom, isn't it? And now, back to your regularly scheduled program.