Crack.

Is the noise my toenail made when it broke half-way down, only half-way through, as I stubbed it on Deviant Dad's flip flop while walking behind him at a local mall. I'm sure you are wondering how one cracks a toenail on a flip flop, but naturally he has the most rigid bottomed flip flops so as to support a bottle opener on the bottom of the sole:

It does beg the question, why on earth would someone use a bottle opener on the bottom of a shoe? And after seeing all the dog shit on the sidewalks in Valencia, I'm pretty sure I'd have to be pretty drunk and desperate to open a bottle with the bottom of a shoe.

In the meantime, we've taped up my toe because it was bleeding pretty badly and there is no way this toe nail is coming off easily. The Captain seems to think the bandaging is a toy and wants to pull it off. I'm more depressed at having to put off shopping for a new pair of Campers for my birthday. I'm considering getting extremely drunk so that I'll have the courage to rip the rest of the nail off. Maybe I'll need the Dad's flip flop after all...