Breasts.

If I have ever done a mediocre job of anything in my life, breastfeeding had to be number 1. To be sure, as my mother told me, it was one of nature's cruelest jokes. Large breasts. Small mouth. Observe...





I don't deny that I gave it a good shot; I spent $300 on a breast pump, pumped for 6 weeks straight, which I had to then give to the Captain in a bottle, thus negating many of the major benefits of breastfeeding (cost effective, convenient).

So nothing made me feel more mediocre at this task than the attached video. I must warn you that if you don't have an "open minded" work environment, you may prefer to watch this at home. I could get into the whole debate if I wanted to, but let me just put this out there...my breasts are my own (despite what the Dad thinks). And I do resent the whole campaign to promote breastfeeding that points to formula as potentially "hazardous" to babies' health (or rather, "not feeding a baby breast milk" aka "feeding a baby formula"). But first watch and decide for yourself.

What really bothers me about this isn't what this woman believes to be bothering me. It has nothing to do with nakedness or sexuality; it's about owning my own body. As I have said before, I can separate the mother-me from the woman-me and there is no way that I would ever let the Captain believe that he owns any part of my body. So if that means that 5 or 8 year old children can have awareness of ownership rights, then yes, this woman is breastfeeding too long. The only thing the Captain probably owns for the next 20 years or so is my wallet - it's Coach and can easily be removed from my pocket.