Happy happy, joy joy.

One of the really great things about being a Mediocre Mama is that it gives you license to say what you will without the need to apologize, no matter how un-PC or un-motherly it is. For example, ask me what the happiest day of my life is: The day I gave birth to the Captain? Ho ho ho, surely you jest. The day I met or married my husband? Oh, you. No, the happiest day of my life was the day I passed the Bar exam.

Now I realize this may come as a shock to many; how could I possibly confess to something so selfish when I have a beautiful handsome child? However, when you do a side-by-side comparison, I think you will understand why:

1. I spent 7 hours in labor; I spent 11 hours over a two day period taking the bar exam;

2. Birthing class was only 6 hours; Bar study classes took a month;

3. I paid about $90 for my birthing class and nothing to give birth; I spent $2,000 on a bar review course, $150 to stay in a hotel the night before and in-between the exam days and approximately $500 in fees to apply and sit for the bar exam;

4. I waited 9 months for the Captain to come out, during which time I have the assurances that there was in fact a baby growing inside me that would eventually come out; I waited 3 months for my Bar results with absolutely no assurances of passing;

5. When I gave birth to the Captain I knew, well, I guess I may eventually go through this again and that’s fine; when I found out I passed the Bar I knew I would NEVER have to go through with this again; and

6. When the Captain came out, though I was very happy, there was that moment in my head where I said…”wow, he sure is, um, loud;” when I passed the Bar exam, the only thing that was loud was my little shriek and maybe a “thank god almighty” somewhere in there. I mean, for real, I’m Jewish, but I was ready to praise Jesus, Buddha and maybe even George W. Bush.

Getting the picture? Now, if you rephrase the question…what was the most life altering day of your life...what was the best day of your life...I’m sure I could come up with a different answer. But in truth, I don’t know if I was so much happy the day I gave birth as I was elated, confused, overwhelmed, tired and sore. I sometimes think that we as parents get so bogged down in being selfless and appearing to be so self-sacrificing that we often forget that before this little wonder came into the world we were human too. Am I so terrible that I can separate the mother-me from the woman-me and never look back?