The Dad has secured 2 whole days off from work, which is why I've been somewhat out of writing commission the last few days. We took a great drive to the beach, followed by a horrifying ride back. After a day of hot dogs, milk, eating sand and running on the beach, it was inevitable. A mere 5 minutes from home, the Captain projectiled all over the back seat of the car.
For me, the worst part is avoiding that compulsion to run and hide. Kid or no kid, no one wants to be anywhere near that. I remember back in college I had a particularly bad bout of food poisoning and had to funk up the bathroom I shared with 5 girls. I taped up a skull and cross bone on the door and put up a friendly message. Stay away, but if you could just occasionally open my bedroom door and make sure I'm not dead that would be great.
So last night our entire evening off turned to disinfecting and fabric cleaning. And try though I might explain to my in-laws that the only thing that will get the odor out of the car is time, they are still on a vigilante mission to disinfect. Like I hadn't already tried that.
This is not the first time the young Captain blew his chunks, but the last time ended with a rage and prayer for the downfall of Iberia airline. Back in November, the Captain and I had to return to the East Coast to spend some time with my grandmother before she passed away. A dear friend had been visiting me and accompanied me on my travels back. Though the Captain is a handful, he was incredible on the 8 hour flight and over the first 6 hours had managed to enchant all of coach class. But two hours before landing the vomiting started and it just went on and on.
After the first round of vomiting I brought him to the back of the plane to change his clothes, where I was greeted with a friendly flight attendant who asked me to take my seat due to light turbulence. I mean, what the fuck, can't I just clean my child? They refused to let me clean him or myself off and made us take our seats, puke covered and all. Then it just continued and he got sick 4 more times. Dear Friend graciously removed her shirt from under her vest so that I would have something less funky to wear and I changed right there in my seat. As for the Captain, I changed him out of his outfit 3 times until I had no more clothes. We had airline blankets covered in his puke and carry on luggage had cooties. Finally, friendly flight attendant made his way back over to me. Noticing the desperate situation, he did what any friendly flight attendant would do and flung a stack of airsick bags at me. What the fuck am I supposed to do with these, tell him to aim it?
In the end I dragged the Captain off the plane and had him wearing nothing but a diaper and an airline blanket. He spent an additional 4 hours throwing up, miserable and shaking and I naturally caught the bug 2 days later. But upon leaving the airplane, I blissfully left 4 puke covered blankets on the floor so that when they said, "You have a good day now," I could reply, "Oh, I will."
For me, the worst part is avoiding that compulsion to run and hide. Kid or no kid, no one wants to be anywhere near that. I remember back in college I had a particularly bad bout of food poisoning and had to funk up the bathroom I shared with 5 girls. I taped up a skull and cross bone on the door and put up a friendly message. Stay away, but if you could just occasionally open my bedroom door and make sure I'm not dead that would be great.
So last night our entire evening off turned to disinfecting and fabric cleaning. And try though I might explain to my in-laws that the only thing that will get the odor out of the car is time, they are still on a vigilante mission to disinfect. Like I hadn't already tried that.
This is not the first time the young Captain blew his chunks, but the last time ended with a rage and prayer for the downfall of Iberia airline. Back in November, the Captain and I had to return to the East Coast to spend some time with my grandmother before she passed away. A dear friend had been visiting me and accompanied me on my travels back. Though the Captain is a handful, he was incredible on the 8 hour flight and over the first 6 hours had managed to enchant all of coach class. But two hours before landing the vomiting started and it just went on and on.
After the first round of vomiting I brought him to the back of the plane to change his clothes, where I was greeted with a friendly flight attendant who asked me to take my seat due to light turbulence. I mean, what the fuck, can't I just clean my child? They refused to let me clean him or myself off and made us take our seats, puke covered and all. Then it just continued and he got sick 4 more times. Dear Friend graciously removed her shirt from under her vest so that I would have something less funky to wear and I changed right there in my seat. As for the Captain, I changed him out of his outfit 3 times until I had no more clothes. We had airline blankets covered in his puke and carry on luggage had cooties. Finally, friendly flight attendant made his way back over to me. Noticing the desperate situation, he did what any friendly flight attendant would do and flung a stack of airsick bags at me. What the fuck am I supposed to do with these, tell him to aim it?
In the end I dragged the Captain off the plane and had him wearing nothing but a diaper and an airline blanket. He spent an additional 4 hours throwing up, miserable and shaking and I naturally caught the bug 2 days later. But upon leaving the airplane, I blissfully left 4 puke covered blankets on the floor so that when they said, "You have a good day now," I could reply, "Oh, I will."
2 comments:
Love the Goonies reference!!
Poor Jesse, though. He must have been miserable. I know you probably have no choice in Spain - but part of the beauty of having leather seats in your car is easy clean-up!! Yes, the carpet is still there, but that's what the industrial floor mats are for - take 'em out and hose 'em off! Just a little something to consider when you get home =)
The plane ride...well... that's another story. Props for leaving the pukey blankets in the plane!
Thanks for the tip on the leather seats. We'll be getting new cars this summer. Note to self...
MM
Post a Comment