Of Dogs and Boys

It is with great sadness that I now must write an ode to my dog. I shall call her Dog. She is moving back to the States in but a few weeks, 2 months ahead of the rest of the family. And she puts up with so much bullshit that I feel she deserves her own post. Please note that it probably helps your amusement if you start envisioning a guitar strumming in the background and maybe narration by Johnny Cash or perhaps the narrator from The Dukes of Hazard.

"DOG"

Dog was a kindly sort of dog and very excited when the Mediocre Mama and Dad told her they were bringing home a baby. Though confused at first and worried about all the new noises, Dog loved the new baby.











And as the baby grew up, he came to appreciate Dog more and more. The Captain loved Dog.

Now one fine day the Captain learned to crawl and realized he had a little rivalry in Dog. So hoping to quell all that he decided to show her who's boss.

So the Captain likes to throw things at Dog, steal her food, sit in her crate, hit her, pull her ears, play in her water, tease her with food, present a fist-full of "fake" food so that she'll chase him and generally make her feel inferior and stepped on, regardless of personal consequences, time-outs or punishments, simply for his own amusement and Dog is a saint because she let's him do whatever the hell he pleases.

So the next time you think of a door mat or a punching bag, the next time you step over a homeless person on the street, the next time you step in dog shit I hope you'll think of our Dog. If you don't remember what she looks like, she's the yellow lab, packing her bags and thanking god that she's getting the hell out of town!