Don't you hate it when you're so drunk that...

you forget what the hell it was that you wanted to say?


Wednesday night, while celebrating with a group of friends our pending homecoming (or commiserating perhaps?) I came up with a drunken stroke of brilliance for my next post. The next morning, all I could remember was maybe a conversation about shoes. Weird.


So my faithful readers will have to forgive both my absentmindedness and my lack o' posting. First, it's rather irritating typing without this shift key. For the sake of clarity and posterity I am going back through and shifting/editing where I need to. Second, I'm on week 10 of nonstop house guests and have run out of steam for cleaning, typing, touring, planning, cooking, restaurants, the Captain...


So since I have painfully forgotten my fabulous post topic, I now present, for your amusement...

Doorknob, Part Trois

Payback's a bitch, bitch.

How much would you pay for this doorknob? $25? Maybe $50? Well, apparently with the current exchange rate, I would pay $135. Anyone else recall that I'm up to officially 4 broken doorknobs? So with simple math, 4 x 5 is 20, carry the 2, hit my broken shift key and return 4 times....Yep, I spent $1,000 on new doorknobs! Did I mention I was mediocre in math, too?


So, I finally got the call from the doorknob repair mechanic guy and he says he's downstairs, comes up and does a lousy installation job and demands cash payment, then and there. Did I mention that because he showed up without warning I was still in my PJ's? He installed 2 and I managed to beg borrow and steal 200 euros from my cousin, but it still wasn't enough. To make matters even more fun the guy said that unless I gave full payment (214 euros) he wouldn't give me a receipt. I call the property managers and I'm absolutely going nuts and we work something out, blah blah blah. Although now obnoxious useless doorknob installation guy refuses 5 of my euros because it's in change. I say, "but it's money?!" Apparently my money is no good here?


Well, I told the management company that I refuse to pay for their extravagant doorknobs and they told me I could come to the office with my receipt for reimbursement. Today I drag a moody and exhausted Captain to the management company and their response was, "Well, we need to submit it to the owner." Excuse me? Didn't you tell me to drag my ass down here and get reimbursed?


So then the conversation goes like this...

Me - Maica told me to come down.

Them - Well, we're not responsible and we're not the owner.

Me - You hired a guy who did a horrible job, was a complete jerk, and who wouldn't leave my apartment without money, even though he showed up with absolutely no notice.

Them - Well, we're not responsible that the doorknob repairman was a jerk.

Me - You hired the guy.

Them - We are not the owners of the property so we can't pay.

Me - Funny, I'm not the owner of the property either and, amazingly, I did have to pay.


Then, the Captain starts to pull out some rather nudgy and irritated behavior, which was just about perfect timing, because, much like the asshole doorknob repairman, I was not leaving without my 195 euros. Finally they cough it up.


So now we're faced with the following question...should we even bother paying the last month's rent or let them keep the security deposit? If I were in the State's I'd be less likely to take the risk, but I'm in Spain and living on Spanish time and I understand it takes about 6 months to evict someone and so they're probably too lazy to go after us for the money. Based on all the dinks and doohickeys around the apartment that the Captain left I am certain they're going to take the security deposit...maybe I should just make this easier on all of us. Plus, with $300 more dollars worth of doorknobs to install, anyone else think they'll find a way to make us pay for it?


Ah well, I suppose I could always hock some doorknobs to make up for the loss.